Memories
by Blue-Sparkels
Summary: This is my firs fanfiction and english isn't my mothertonge but I hope you like it more chapters will follow Contains GermanyxItaly HRExChibitalia PrussiaxHungary PrussiaxRussia
1. Chapter 1

Elizavet put the lip-gloss carefully on Feliciano's lips. "So, I'm done", she said and took a step back to look at her masterpiece. "And? How does it look like?" "Wonderful Ita-chan, not even Lovino would recognize you now." Feliciano was sitting on a chair in Elizavet's room. He was wearing beautiful blue dress and silver high heels. "Ve_" he looked in the mirror and then smiled at his friend. "Thank you very much. I really look like a girl with this make up and the long hair. And I can even hide my curl in it, ve." Elizavet smiled, too. Feli was so adorable in that dress. It had taken her a long time to convince him to dress up as a girl on the fancy-dress ball, but the result was great. Feliciano looked down and blushed. "Are you sure that this is all right? Aren't they to big?" He pointed at his chest. Liz had placed fake breasts there to make the costume look more authentic. "Sure it is! It's perfect. Now go and enjoy yourself." She pushed him towards the door. Feli glanced at her. His cute brown eyes glowed with anticipation. "Aren't you coming?" "Of course, I'll just change into my costume. Go on, you don't need to wait here. Just keep away from Francis. He might get strange ideas."

Gilbert leaned on a pillar and watched the other nations. He was dressed in a military uniform, a white one with a long cape very similar to the one he used to wear when he was younger. Gilbert looked back at his grim brother. He was standing on the balcony and looked very unhappy. He didn't want to be at this party. Gilbert turned around just in time to see a girl in a long green dress and fairy wings fixes to her back rushing towards the crowd. "Na, na, Lizzy, don't you even say hello to your friends anymore?" She turned around and even though she was wearing a mask, Gilbert could tell that she was surprised. "How did you know it was me?", she asked. Gilbert gave her one of his awesome smiles. "Well…" he picked up a strand of her hair. Elizavet had lots of flowers in it and every movement made petals rain down. "…you are the only fairy I know that has such a flowery scent in her hair." He lifted his hand and sniffed the strain. "Let go!" Elizavet blushed and pushed his hand away. Something was different with him today. She looked at his face. The same overconfident expression and the same cheeky grin but the intense gaze of his blood red eyes made her shiver. She looked down quickly to examine his costume. "S-so you decided to dress up as your younger self, right? I remember it. We used to play together a lot at that time." Liz felt her heart flutter like a scared bird. _What was this?! _Gilbert hadn't had that effect on her normally. "Hm, yeah. I thought it would bring the awesome me in advantage. West didn't like the idea of wearing historical outfits on this ball. Well he didn't like the idea of being here at all." Elizavet glanced over his shoulder. "You let him wear his _old _clothes…" Ludwig was bored without a doubt. He kept rearranging his coat and the black hat, which was too old-fashioned for his taste. "He doesn't remember a thing, does he?""No, not even a single memory. Not even in his dreams. Just an empty space in his mind. Ludwig forgot all the pain, the war, the fighting. Enviable." Elizavet had never before seen Gilbert as sad as he was now, watching his brother. "You forgot the good things. His friends his love…" she smiled and touched his hand. "You can't tell me that you don't have any happy memories of that in your childhood." Gilbert looked down at her and also smiled. "Let us stop talking about this. We're on a fancy-dress ball after all!" Would you like to dance with me milady?" Liz blushed. She wanted to find Roderich as soon as possible. That was the best thing about the dance. But Gilbert's eyes seemed to hold her at the place. "All right, but only one single dance!"

Ludwig wasn't happy at all. He hated evens like that. He had a problem getting along with people and such a party was pointless if you couldn't get along with them. Why was he here anyway? When the invitation arrived a week ago, he immediately realized that he would not like it. But not only had Gilbert persuaded him to come here, no, he also forced him to wear this ancient sing. Ludwig sighed and leaned against the balustrade. The only reason why he came here was because he had hoped to meet Feliciano. The little Italian was his best friend and the only one who didn't care that he was that way. Ludwig felt lonely without him now. When he wanted to be alone, Feli always wanted to play with him, but when Ludwig wanted to be with him he was untraceable. He looked up to the sky and saw a shooting star. Feliciano's words came into his mind. _If you see a shooting star, you can wish something and the star will grant you that wish._ How childish. But on the other hand… "I wish I could stop feeling so lonely. I wish I would know why I have the feeling that I miss somebody. I wish I could stop feeling so confused. I wish…" he shook his head. _How foolish_. As if the thing, which could stop me feeling lonely would fall into his hands. It was stupid to think about it just because he was alone. And that was when this "thing" fell into his hands.

Feliciano was running through the crowd. He tried to find somebody he knew, but because he changed his destination every few seconds it was quite difficult. After a while he was tiered. Feliciano wasn't used to this kind of shoes so he stumbled after every meter. He leaned on the wall to take a breath. At that moment he noticed Francis trying to get Arthur drunk. Feliciano, who had completely forgot Elizavet's warning, dashed to him. Even though the floor was flat he stumbled and with a little scream he fell. Feliciano was prepared to land on the hard floor, when someone caught him. This someone had strong and warm hands. They were familiar and the Italian could tell who his saver was even before he heard his voice. "Everything all right?""Yes, yes, I'm fine", said Feli and glanced up shyly."Thank you for ca…" He was thrown for a loop. He stared at the blondes face not able to understand what was going on. He could see Ludwig and someone else in the same face. The familiar stern face of his best friend shaded into the face of someone else. It was more like a memory, the smiling boy Feliciano had tried to suppress for such a long time. _Holy Roman! _Ludwig looked at the girl embarrassed. She looked breathtaking with her long brown hair and the blue dress. She was small and petite and made him wish to protect her from everything. He had the feeling that he could forever watch her. Then Ludwig realized that he was still holding her in her arms. "Ah! Ehem. Well be careful next time." Ludwig blushed and took a step back. "Y-yes I will." The girl's voice sounded as ifshe was about to burst into tears. "Er… would you like a drink?" He blushed as he asked her. _Scheiße. _I should have read my books more carefully! There sure is something about starting a talk with a girl. The girl thought for a while and then nodded. "Sure, why not?" Ludwig smiled. He had the strange feeling that he met her before. She looked Italian so maybe he saw her while visiting Feliciano. "By the way I'm Ludwig. What's your name? … All right you don't need to tell me." She had looked frightened when he asked her.

Sometime later they were sitting in a quiet corner drinking wine. Normally Ludwig would have preferred beer, but it wasn't fitting in the situation. The girl didn't speak much but everything made no sense. She seemed to be a bit tipsy. Feliciano was too confused to drink. Could Ludwig actually be Holy Roman Empire?! Had he forgot about him because he didn't love his clumsy friend, or didn't he know that Feliciano was his former maid? Of course the resemblance was obvious but they could still be relatives, or not? Feliciano glanced at the German next to him. Could the only person he loved more than his brother and even more than grandpa be the one, the cause of a broken heart, for sleepless nights he spent worrying about him, for countless nightmares in which he saw him leaving? But even if he was HRE it didn't change Feliciano's feelings. He loved Ludwig for what he was now and not because he was a replacement for someone else. _"Maybe he didn't love you enough, and that's why he forgot you. He didn't love you then and he doesn't love you now. Maybe he even hates you" _Feliciano could imagine what his brother would say. He closed his eyes and thought of the last time he saw HRE. It had been a beautiful day and the flowers where blooming around them. Holy Roman had promised to come back after war and marry him. And then, before he leaved, he had kissed him. This had been his first kiss and he loved to think about this kiss. _The kiss! _"Ludwig, could you do me a favor? Could you please close your eyes, I want to try out something." After Feliciano made sure that he couldn't see anything he leaned forward. He hold his breath and looked at Ludwig's face. He had hard and straight features; his smooth skin was pale in contrast to Feliciano's southern complexion. He looked somehow perfect now, like the sculptures his grandpa had showed him. Feliciano also closed his eyes and kissed Ludwig carefully. The touch of their lips hit him like a lightning stroke. Germany was the Holy Roman Empire without a doubt! Feliciano couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "You…you…" Ludwig stared at him, shocked about the tears. Feliciano couldn't stand the rush of feelings and thoughts. It was too much for him so he turned around and ran away faster than he ever did before.

The single dance had turned into dozens. Elizavet circled around the hall with Gilbert for three hours now. She was surprised that she could get along with him so good. They hadn't argued except the times when Gilbert had lowered his hands, which he had wrapped around Elizavet's waist, too deep. "Gilbert, please let us stop. I spent the last three hours dancing with you and I'm tiered." Gilbert pulled her closer. "Ah, really? What a pity. I thought you could do it longer." Liz' hand twitched. _I miss my pan. _Their faces were only centimeters away from each other and she could feel Gilbert's cool breath in her face. His blood red eyes pierced into her emerald ones. Elizavet took a step back without avoiding his stare. "Gilbert…" Something blue rushed past them, so close that they could feel the draft. "Hey look out!", Gilbert called."Tse, this girl nearly knocked the awesome me of the feet." He noticed Liz' expression. She looked after the girl in a very worried way. Gilbert wanted to ask her who this was but he was interrupted by his brother. "Did you see a girl running that way? She is small and has long brown hair and she's wearing a blue dress." "Oi, West! You found a pretty girl and then you scare her away. By the old Fritz, West you have to learn to communicate with girls properly! I mean, you're handsome enough and you're my brother!" Ludwig frowned and turned to Liz. "Have you seen her?" She looked at him compassionately. "Yes, Ludwig I saw her. But she was very fast so you won't catch up." Gilbert glanced at her surprised. Who was that girl? He looked at his brother again and said:"Don't think about her. If I were you, I would look for Feli." Ludwig winced. He looked like someone who cheated on his beloved girlfriend. "Feliciano…", he muttered . "No, no he isn't here. He properly is at home and sleeps. Feli usually is asleep at this time… All right I'm off" He went away quietly. Elizavet sighted. "Gilbert, I think we have a problem now", she said watching Ludwig disappearing in the crowd.


	2. Chapter 2

Feliciano was sitting on his bed wearing only his underwear. The face hair extensions were scattered all over the room and the dress was carelessly troughed into the wardrobe. The eye shadow was blurred by tears. Feli had cried all night and now he had a headache and his throat was soar because of the sobs. The poor boy wasn't used to have that much opposite thoughts and feelings at the same time. He was happy to know that Holy Roman was alive but he didn't know what to think about the fact that Ludwig hadn't told him. Maybe he just didn't want to keep his promise? Maybe his brother was right and Ludwig really… The door burst open and a young man entered the room. He was very angry. "Good morning, Feli, what a surprise to meet you at home, dammit!" You usually stay overnight at the bastard's house. Dammit, that macho potato has a bad influence on you!" Lovino kicked his jacket into a corner and started running around the room and waiving his hands. "You won't believe what the jackass did! Antonio wanted to dress up as a torero and he told me to dress up as a god dammed bull. Partner look and this crap. Of course I understood that he'll do something nasty so I dressed up as a tomato instead. And what does this bastard? He dressed up as a tomato farmer!" Lovino turned around and froze as he noticed his little brother crying. "Feliciano! Don't cry. I apologize for eating the last pasta but I realized that this was the last when I already finished! Look, I'll go and buy some more, OK? And tomatoes. Many juicy tomatoes. And pizza. And gelato, if you want some." Feliciano shook his head and managed to say between two sobs:" N-no, I'm n-not hu-hungry." Lovino stared at his brother. If Feli wasn't hungry it was something serious. He sat down next to him and embraced his brother. "Shh, don't cry, dammit. Tell me what happened."

After one hour of crying, sobs and some muttered words, Lovino still didn't quite understand what had made his little brother sad. The few things he could understand were "Ludwig", "Doitsu" "promise" and something about dresses. It was enough to convince Lovino that this was the fault of the potato bastard. He pated Feliciano's head gently and said:" Naa, don't cry, Feli, everything will be all right, I promise. The potato will never harm you again. I'll speak with him." Feliciano looked up in horror his hands clutched to his brothers shirt. "No, Lovino! You won't do anything!", he demanded with shaking voice. "Please, it's not his fault! Leafe him alone! Promise me!" The older one smiled and hugged his brother. "Of course not."

One minute later he was already on the way to the Germans house. Whatever this bastard had done, he would regret it. Like any real Sicilian Lovino couldn't tolerate the fact that someone had insulted his family. He would take revenge no matter how. Lovino grinned as he imagined how he would beat the blonde man up. Sure he was stronger but the Italian boilded with rage and wouldn't show any mercy. The house came into sight and Lovino prepared for a fight. He found Ludwig sitting in the garden between his dogs. He stood up when he saw Lovino , already looking annoyed. "YOU! Dammit, potato bastard do you even know what you did?!" The blonde raised an eyebrow. "No, I don't know." Well, Lovino also had no clue what had happened but he knew that Ludwid had made Feliciano cry; therefore he would beat him up. "Don't take the mikey out of me, dammit! You know exactly what I mean!" Lovino was only a few steps away from Ludwig. He would hit him now with all his strength and he would aim at the face, he would try to break his nose and… _Dammit, this guy was tall! _"What you did to Feliciano! You will reg…" Lovino glanced at the German. His steel blue eyes seemed to hit him. It wasn't difficult to break someone's neck. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to clobber with him. "Er... Just keep away, that's all…" Lovino turned around and hurried home. He would ask someone else to avenge Feliciano later. Maybe the mafia or something.

A whole week had pasted since Feliciano showed up the last time. Ludwig was surprised how much he minded it. He missed his little friend and he couldn't concentrate at all. Whit a sigh Ludwig walked to his dogs to feed them. The youngest, a little black and white mongrel puppy, jumped up and barked happily. It reminded him of Italy's face, when he tried to get hugged or kissed. Ludwig could see Feliciano in front of him. His brown hair and that mysterious curl, the big brown eyes with a shade of gold. Ludwig blushed and rubbed his eyes. I properly feel this way because I miss him. If I see Feliciano everything will be as always. He picked up the puppy and went outside. When he was in the garden, Ludwig noticed someone standing near the hedge. Feliciano! The brunette smiled shyly and reached out his hand. "H-hello" Whit out thinking Ludwig hugged him. "where have you been?" he asked face buried in Feliciano's hair. It smelled good, like a summer breeze and it made Ludwig's heart bounce like crazy. Feliciano hugged him back inert. "W-well, I've been at home, ve. Lovi and I had nothing to do so we watched some films Alfred gave us. Lovi didn't like them so we borrowed some from Kiku and…" Ludwig pushed the Italian away carefully and looked at him. "Feliciano, what happened to you? Lovino was angry at me and you hadn't shown up for a week! Have I insulted you?" Feliciano stared at him terrified and the shook his head. "Naa, nothing, it was a misunderstanding. I was crying because there was no pasts left, and Lovino thought that it was because I had argued with you, ve ve." Ludwig stared at him. Feliciano could have really done that but this was a lie. "Tell me the truth, Feliciano! What is bothering you?" Feliciano looked up. "Do you know about me and the Holy Roman Empire? You know the Holy Roman, don't you?" The blond blinked confused. "Yes, I know. You used to live at his house. But what…" "I think you're him. He… you told me something… Do you remember what you did? Well it could be that you forgot, I also suppressed it, it's not a thing you want to remember, ve. It was horrible, this time. Maybe this is the reason why Lovi hates you. He can be rude but he's a good brother. He comforted me than and maybe he'll never forgive you this…" Ludwig stared at Feliciano horrified. "Wh-what are you talking about?! What have I… the Holy Roman done to you?!" Feliciano smiled sadly. "So you really don't know? Ask someone if you like… Gilbert maybe, or Roderich, he also comforted me then… ", he turned around and run to the street. "Wait! Feliciano what are you talking about?!" But the brunette boy was already out of sight.


	3. Chapter 3

The small yellow chick jumped over the soft white textile. It waved it's wings and flew up to sit into it's nest in the silver hair. It chewed on one hair for a while and then bounced down to the white neck of it's owner to use it as a slide. The chick twittered with joy and climbed on the face. Ludwig watched the bird using his brother as a playground. After Feliciano had left he immediately started to search him. He had found Gilbert sleeping on his sofa (he was still wearing his boots) "Weg da, Kleines" Ludwig said and pushed the fluffy yellow ball aside. He woke his brother up in a very ungentle way. "Kesesesese, your vital regions are mine!", he muttered and rubbed his eyes. "Hm, West? Why did you do this? I'm tiered…" Ludwig stared at him angrily."You sleep at night! Just stop playing your video games or whatever you do and you'll be fine! Why do you sleep on my sofa anyway?" Gilbert sat up and hugged his pet. "What do you want?""Am I the Holy Roman Empire?" The former nation stared at his brother surprised. "Eh… I was sure you would manage to find out yourself but this is late…" Ludwig thought for a while."So… I _am_ Holy Roman. But how should I've known?!" "You saw a picture of him didn't you? You look absolutely identical. It's the Holy Roman Empire of the _German_ nation.He disappeared when you were born. Everyone hated you from the beginning because of the things you did before and not because they envied your awesome brother…""Ah, hold your trap!" Ludwig rubbed his eyes."So, maybe it's true and I am Holy Roman, although I don't remember it. Why would I choose this name anyway?" Gilbert giggled. "You were fangirling over Rome since you were a child. Dad was angry because of that.""Achem, do you know what he… I did? I… I think I did something bad to Feliciano, he said that Lovino had to comfort him and that's why he hates me…" Gilbert shrugged. "I don't know, I had my own worries at that time. But I know who might help you."

A few hours later they were at Arthur's attic. "Are you sure you want me to open the gate to the hereafter?" he asked the brother in a very melodramatic way. He drew the last lines of the pentagram. "Yes I'm sure" Ludwig said. Arthur took a book and started to read something. A green light started to glow on the floor. Curiously the German brothers watched a longhaired man rising out of it. Arthur closed his book and looked at the man, who hadn't opened his eyes jet as if he knew that whatever he'd see would annoy him. Ludwig nodded. The man was blond and his features were very similar to his own. "Er… hello dad." "Daaaaaaaaddy!" screamed Gilbert throwing his hands up in the air. "Do you recognize us? It's us. Your favorite sons! I am Gilbert and this is Ludwig, daddy." Germania stared at him his eyebrows slightly twitching. "I might be dead, Gilbert, but I'm not senile." Gilbert's smile faded. "Oh- shit." "Yes and I remember everything." Germania turned to Ludwig now his face emotionless again. "You called me?" "Yes… I need to ask you something about my childhood. I seem to have forgotten something and you can help me…" "…" "Eh… it's about HRE. Gilbert says that I am him and… and I think I did something to Italy." The pentagram flashed and someone else appeared. "Ah! Did someone mention my cute grandson?!" Rome smiled at Ludwig happily. He linked arms with Germania, who seemed not to like this. "Sure you are the Holy Roman Empire, a good name to choose by the way. It says that you are as powerful as me and that you're a saint. No doubt in the last one. If not the things with Ita-chan…" Ludwig stared at him in alarm. "What?! Tell me, what have I done!" The ancient thought for a while. "Uh. I disappeared at that time but I know for sure that you were all chasing after him. He was very scared because of that. And later he was living at your house. He was your maid and maybe this is the reason… Maids are sexy aren't they? Ah, poor little boy, nobody should make such an experience in that age. Francis tried it too but you were very possessive…" Rome leaned his head on Germania's shoulder. "Let's go back or god will be angry at me…" The two started to blur. "NO! Wait, what do you mean?!!! What had Francis to do with it?!", Ludwig screamed but they were already gone. The other two turned around to look at him worried. 'What have I done?! This sounded like serious bullying. Have I beat Feliciano? Maybe I hated him and that's the reason why he asks everyone about it? And since Francis tried to do the same thing maybe … I… maybe … could I actually have… _raped_ him?! I can't imagine ever doing something of this, Feliciano is so fragile…' Ludwig hid his face in his hands. 'Whatever I did, I don't want Feliciano to hate me!' Without caring for Arthur and Gilbert he started to cry.

"I don't want Ludwig to hate me", said Feliciano and took a bite from his pizza. "I love him…" Lovino nearly dropped his empty plate. His brother still liked the potato bastard… "Feliciano, this is not good for you, dammit!" "Why not? Ludwig is so nice to me! Ludwig likes me even though I'm stupid and clumsy and childish." Feliciano smiled dreamily. "Dammit, you still don't get it?! He doesn't like you! He's just nice to you because he's fucking using you! You're his brainless slave! He doesn't love you at all!" Feliciano's eyes filled with tears. "I don't want to be used! I want him to love me! Are you sure?" Lovino took a deep breath. Even if this would hurt his brother it was still best for him. "Yes, and big brother Francis thinks so, too. Ask him if you don't believe me." He dried Feliciano's tears with his sleeve. "I'm sure he secretly laughs because you believe him. And I'm sure he knows what he did as Holy Roman and regrets it." The little boy looked up. "I don't want this" "Yes I know. Listen, I'll visit Francis tomorrow and I don't want you to be alone in that state. Why don't you stay at Roderich's for a while?"

Ludwig tapped his fingers on the desk. He had a headache after he had drunk himself to sleep last night. Nevertheless he had nightmares of him beating Feliciano. He had seen the little boy crying and lying in a pool of blood with countless bruises. This image had made him wake up with a scream. No matter how often Ludwig had fallen asleep this picture had haunted him over and over again. And for an awkward reason he had to think about the girl from the fancy-dress ball. Ludwig looked up as Elizavet put a glass of water and an aspirin on the table. He muttered 'thanks' and swallowed it. He came to Roderich's house this morning. Thoughtfully he watched Elizavet cleaning the kitchen. Even though she didn't live here anymore she often helped her ex-husband. In order to divert himself from his thoughts he asked her: "Elizavet, you never told me who that girl was…" Elizavet turned around and snapped at him: "You should care for Feliciano more than for some random girls! You shouldn't ignore him while you're making out with someone! Is this the reason why you have a hangover?!" Ludwig closed his eyes painfully. "No. I-I don't want to ignore Feliciano. How could I? He is my closest friend and I lo- I relay like him. I could never leave him because of a girl. I'm just curious." Elizavet smiled. "Really? Well, that girl was Feliciano. He dressed up just for fun." Ludwig looked up. This made him happy but he didn't understand why Feli run away. Elizavet hugged him and whispered. "Feliciano is here. You know this hills with the flowers in front of the house? Good Luck."

Feliciano stood on top of the hill surrounded by pink flowers. The wind blew some petals and leafes around him. He stood there with the back to the house so he didn't see Ludwig coming. "Feliciano!" The boy looked back terrified. "A-ah Ludwig what are you doing here?!" Ludwig blushed and stood before him. "I thought about what you said about me being HRE…" Feliciano nodded carefully. "And Feliciano, I swear whatever I said or did, I didn't meant it! Please forget it!" The Italian stared at him emotionless. Ludwig smiled shyly. "OK? And there is another thing that I want to tell you. I-I always loved you. I always loved you since the 1900th!" Feliciano's eyes filled with tears. "You-you…" Even though he couldn't estimate people so good, Ludwig immediately understood that this weren't tears of joy. "Why are you making fun of me?! Isn't it enough that you broke my heart?! Y-you liar! I HATE YOU!" Feliciano turned around and run away. Ludwig stared at him horrified. And all he heard was his heartbeat.

Elizavet entered the living room and noticed Gilbert sleeping on the couch. He had dark rings under his eyes and he properly had fallen asleep immediately after sitting down. With a sigh she sat down and put his feet on her lap. Thoughtfully Elizavet started to tap his leg with her fingers. When Elizavet reached his knee she paused and then pulled her hand away fast. "Who allowed you to stop?" Gilbert woke up and was staring at the ceiling. He looked very tiered and sad. "Did you stay up all night?" "Yes… it was impossible to sleep with West screaming all the time." "Screaming?!" "Yes, he obviously had nightmares. He was crying while he was asleep and he called Feliciano's name all the time. It was horrible, I tried to wake him up but he was dithering. Don't tell him that I watched, please." Elizavet looked away. How horrible must nightmares be to make Ludwig be like that? "So, you didn't answer. Why did you stop?" Elizavet blushed. "This… it's because… because…" "Is it because of Roderich? Elizavet, you two separated a century ago! You can do what you want." His face was only a few centimeters away from hers now. Elizavet froze. 'How should I react if he kiss me?!' "Liz, I…" The door opened and Ludwig entered. He sat down next to Gilbert not bothering that he had interrupted them. "West? What happened? You look like they stopped producing beer." Ludwig looked at Gilbert his eyes empty. "Feliciano hates me, Gilbert. I told him that I love him and he said that he hates me. Maybe what I did is unforgivable? " Elizavet stared at him surprised. "What? What exactly did you tell him?" "I said that everything I said and did as HRE wasn't meant that way. And then I confessed him. Why?" Elizavet covered her mouth with her hands. "Ludwig!? Do you even know what you did then?" "No, not really. It seemed to be something bad." She shook her head. "No, Ludwig, no. You two promised to marry each other! The only bad thing about it was that you broke his heart as you didn't return from war!"


	4. Chapter 4

"I. Will. Not. Drink. This. Shit!" "Come on, this is a good method to remember things. The old tales of the Irish elfs say that you have to drink this in the middle of a corn field when the mist hides the moon." Ludwig stared at the cup in his hands. The liquid inside looked like the vomit of a dog. Arthur put the bottle back into the cupboard. "It's you who has problems with your memories! It's better to start with easy things. If it doesn't help come back and we'll try something else." Ludwig sweared and walked out of the house trying to ignore Gilbert's giggles. They reached the next corn field. Gilbert hummed something and the fog, that had nearly the same color as his skin made him look eerie. "Come on Lulu, drink it!" Ludwig stared at him angrily. "Why do I have the feeling that you enjoy this?" Carefully he lifted it and took a sip. The taste was even more disgusting than the color. He coughed and tried to spit it out but the liquid stayed where it was. "Hell!!" Gilbert smiled and patted his head gently. "It doesn't work, da?" Ludwig looked up and wondered how Ivan always managed to appear out of nowhere like that. Gilbert shivered and moved back slowly. "How did you find out?" The Russian smiled in a suspiciously innocent way. "Hi hi, this is a secret. You want to remember your childhood, da? Well this won't help, comrade Ludwig, but I can give it back to you without any problem." Gilbert laughed. "I don't doubt this but you would never help Ludwig for free." Ivan nodded. "Yes, but I don't want much. I just want comrade Gilbert to spend one night at my house." Gilbert jumped back. "Never, you psychotic bastard!" Ludwig could feel his brother squeezing his arm. "But I can help you! Much better than anybody else, da!" The blond shook his head and walked back to Arthur's house ignoring the fact that Ivan followed them. Arthur had more dubious methods to restore Ludwig's memories. They spend the next few days cooking strange potions ("Wales is sure that they help!"), trying spells (Arthur dressed up as an angel for them) and lots of other stuff that didn't help. After a while Alfred joined them. He had more modern methods, like medicines for Alzheimer, but they also didn't help. All the time Ivan was sitting in a corner smiling and watching. After he nearly drowned in a pot of salty water, Ludwig started to lose his hope. "This doesn't help", he said and stared at Alfred angrily. Alfred thought for a while and then answered:" Well… there is one last method. It's pretty dangerous so had hoped it won't be necessary. But at the other hand it's a good idea!" "Ah, come on! We don't want your bloody ideas!" "But the other things helped, didn't they? Ok he remembered stuff that he hadn't jet forgot, but hey! It's a start!" Ludwig sighed and sat down at the floor. He was tiered of the arguing between the English nations. "You still can ask me, comrades. It's only one night, Gilbert." Noticing his brother's terrified expression Ludwig rubbed his eyes. Not only had he to remember everything for Feliciano but now also to protect Gilbert from being raped. "Okay, Jones, what is that idea of you?" Alfred led them to a small room. There was nothing inside beside of something that looked like a modern electric chair and some medicinal machines. "Ta-daa. We will tie you to the chair and put a probe to your forehead and then we will shock you." "Eh…. And how will this help?" A lunatic expression appeared on Alfred's face. "The shocks will stimulate the parts of your brain that are responsible for remember things. This will give you back every single memory. The things you'll see will be that stressful that you'll start wincing and you'll fall into a coma. Even though you do it for your best friend, whom you love secretly, he will be made at you because his girlfriend died. He'll give you the fault and then he'll leave. You will make it up but you two will argue a lot in the following years. After a brief affair with your crush you'll confess him your love and you'll live happily together for the rest of your life." The others glanced at him. "What the hell are you talking about?!" asked Arthur. "…Nothing…. Well let's start."

Ludwig watched Alfred gluing the probes on his forehead. Gilbert smiled encouraging ignoring the fact that Ivan was sitting right next to him. "Hals und Beinbruch, Bruder." Ludwig tried to smile back. "All right, I turn the sing on." Alfred pressed a button at the chair. Ludwig saw a flash of light and then nothing. As he opened his eyes he saw a blur of blood and cotton. Everything was turning around him and there was pain. 'War? I'm in a war… how strange.' Before Ludwig could really realize what exactly was going on he saw something long, a sword or a lance perhaps, flying towards him. The stab through him back and he screamed. He noticed blood spraying out of the wound and out of his mouth. Then everything went black.

Alfred had pulled Ludwig on a mattress. After the German had started screaming they immediately turned off the machine but he stayed unconscientiously. Gilbert looked down at his brother. Ludwig nearly died in this war and he had been very young. The memories seemed to be too painful to be remembered like that. Slowly Gilbert turned around to the Russian. He felt a cold hand gripping his heart. "Ivan, let's talk about your suggestion."

The house had the same eerie aura it had had in the 80th but now it felt kind of lonely. Gilbert stood in the middle of the room like a forgotten child. He squeezed his fluffy yellow chick in his hands and tried to think about anything but the man behind him. "Don't you want to take of your jacket? It's not so cold here in the summer, da." Gilbert heard Ivan taking of his cloak. He looked out of the window. The sun had disappeared one hour ago. "And there're sunflowers growing in the summer, da. Gilbert look at them, so pretty." Gilbert glanced at the bed. It was covered with sunflowers, some fresh and some faded as if they had been lying there since last year. A strong hand clutched his shoulder and pushed him towards it. Gilbert closed his eyes. He had been so happy when the wall fell. He had been sure that he never had to go through this again. 'Calm down, you do it for your brother.' Ivan turned him around ungentle to look at him. His purple eyes glowed and Gilbert could smell the alcohol in his breath. _When had he had the time to get drunk? _The familiar cold smell of Ivan's favorite vodka made him shiver. "Why aren't you defending yourself? Why aren't you begging me for mercy like all the other bastards?" With one quick movement he hit Gilbert in the face and teared his shirt into pieces. From the corner of his eye Gilbert saw his little pet chick hiding in the remains of the white textile while he fell on the bed. He watched his blood running out of his nose on the flowers. He could feel Ivan above him. The Russian carefully stroke his cheek. "You have such beautiful eyes, Gilbert. They look like drops of blood in the snow, did you know that?" Ivan's hands moved slowly down on Gilbert's chest while he was kissing or his neck. Gilbert felt him biting him. He had gone through this many times but it was still painful. He didn't even try to push Ivan away or hurt him back; the Russian would just go on harder. Gilbert was a bit surprised that he wasn't as brutal as usual. 'He is lonely and he wants to remember old times…' He gasped as Ivan scratched his chest. Gilbert tried to ignore it; the thing that expected him in the morning was much more terrible.

Gilbert stared at the incredibly awesome man in the mirror. He was dressed in a dark red bathrobe that was too big and he had found in the wardrobe. His face was of course perfect as always except for the dark rings under his eyes and the tortured expression. Gilbert took a deep breath and removed the cotton from his shoulders to examine his body. Even though he had expected this it was horrible. His wonderful white skin was covered with scratches and bruises which were obviously Ivan's work. That was fatal! That was a catastrophe! What should he do know?! He couldn't walk around with an half up buttoned shirt and to boast with his awesome body until these fucking marks disappeared! "The night is over, da?" Like always Ivan managed to walk in soundless. Gilbert turned around slightly surprised over the sad violet eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

"So you just lie down on the couch and I'll place my hand on your forehead and then you'll get your memories back." Ludwig looked up suspiciously. "And that's it? Is this so easy?" Ivan grinned. "Easy? Let's see." Ludwig turned to Gilbert. When he had waked up, his brother and Ivan were gone. And now he looked like the time after the wall had fall and he still hadn't quite understand that it was over. Gilbert smiled and stroked Ludwig's cheek. "Ist schon gut, lieber Bruder. You will just dream about your past. It's all over so you don't have to think about it much." Arthur snorted. "Yeah, that's his specialty." Alfred slapped the back of his head. Gilbert ignored them. He kissed Ludwig on the forehead and stepped back to let Ivan pass. The Russian giggled and made a strange sound that sounded like "Eeeeeeeeeee". After a few seconds Ludwig started to feel dizzy. Again everything became black but this time the darkness had a shade of purple. Then Ludwig started to see something. It was a battlefield from the middle ages. Hundreds of corpses were lying around. Then Ludwig noticed a small child apart from the others. It was a boy, ten years old, maybe less. He had horrible injuries and it looked like someone had stabbed him in the chest. The boy looked strangely familiar and Ludwig was too scared to check if the boy was breathing. Then he noticed someone walking towards them. It was Gilbert, younger and dressed in his old black uniform. He looked down at the child, his eyes wet as if he was about to cry. Carefully he picked the boy up. "Hold on, kleiner Bruder, I'll take you home." Then the scene blurred and thousands feelings crushed into Ludwig. He saw so many images from his childhood at once that he had the feeling his head must burst every moment.

Ludwig opened his eyes. "And? Did it work?!" Gilbert looked at him curiously. "Yes, I remember." Ludwig sat up and rubbed his eyes. "And why are you sad then? Isn't it great?! Now everything will be all right." Alfred smiled at him. Ludwig stared at him annoyed. "Yes, I remember but nothing is all right! It doesn't change the fact that I have hurt him." He covered his face with his hands. "Feliciano is so sweet and innocent. He had always been like that. I don't deserve him." Alfred looked at him bewildered. "Eh? You don't deserve him? What do you…", Arthur slapped the back of his head. "Shut up!" Ludwig stood up and forced a smile. "Thank you, Ivan.""You're welcome." Gilbert embraced his brother gently. "Come on, let's stay overnight at the aristocrats house."

Feliciano rummaged in his secret box. He kept lots of stuff in there, which he hadn't shown to Lovino. Most of it would have made him angry anyway. Carefully he pulled the chain he was looking for out of it. It was the iron cross Ludwig had given him once. Feliciano put it on. The metal felt cold on his bare chest. Then he found the tomato wedding ring. Ludwig had given it to him because of a big misunderstanding but Feliciano had kept it. He put it on his ring finger and examined it carefully. The small red crystal sparkled in the moonlight. A single tear rolled down on Feliciano's face. 'What have I done? I told Ludwig that I hate him but that's not true! How could I ever have told him something like that?!' Feliciano jumped up. He had to tell Ludwig the truth. Even if he didn't love him anymore they still could stay friends! But first Feliciano would ask someone for advice. Francis and Lovino didn't like Ludwig so he would ask Roderich or Elizaveta. Quickly Feliciano slipped into his trousers and a shirt without buttoning it up. He ran out of the house as fast as possible.

The house was dark and silent. Feliciano dashed through the corridors his bare feet hardly made any sound. In all the time that had passed since Feliciano had lived here he had forgot were Roderich's room was. He reached a door that was locked. A bedroom? "Open! Please, open the door it's an emergency!", Feliciano screamed and knocked the door like mad. The lock clicked and opened. Feliciano stared at the blonde in front of him. Ludwig's hair was messy, like always when he was asleep and he looked tiered and sad. "What are you doing here?" he asked and took a step back into the room. Feliciano followed him slowly. "What happened to you, ve? You look strange." "N-nothing… I just remember everything now…" Feliciano pulled the door close and dried his eyes. "Ludwig, I don't hate you! Please forgive me! We can still be friends, can't we?" he hold his hands up to hug Ludwig but the German moved away. "N-no, Feli, let's not. I don't deserve your affection." Feliciano looked at his best friend. The moonlight made his skin shine in a soft silver color. "Don't you like me anymore, ve?" Ludwig blushed. "No! I love you but…" Feliciano never let him finish the sentence. He jumped up and wrapped his arms around Ludwig's neck. He pressed his lips against the German's. Ludwig froze surprised and then he pulled the Italian closer to him and kissed him back. "Ti amo", he says. Feliciano giggled at Ludwig's attempt to speak Italian. "Ich liebe dich", he said and leaned his head against his shoulder. Ludwig pushed him down on the bed. "C-can I?" Feliciano nodded. Ludwig looked like he would go on no matter what the answer was.

Elizavet stared at the monitor, her heart bursting with excitement. When Ludwig had asked her for a room to sleep she had given him one of her _special _rooms. She had hidden cameras in some place in Roderich's house just in case something interesting would happen. Austria was in the middle of the continent so there often were visitors. She hadn't planned to watch Ludwig, Elizavet thought of him like of a younger brother. She couldn't sleep well, so she had switched on the monitor to check if Ludwig was all right. To Elizavet's boundless pleasure Feliciano was in there, too. And now one of her favorite couples was doing it for the first time and she had it all on tape! Elizavet stared at the screen and smiled as she imagined how she would rewatch it with the thoughts-reading function. How good that she bought this cameras from Korea.

Feliciano opened his eyes and blinked at the bright morning light. Ludwig was still asleep. He held Feliciano so tight that the boy could hardly move but it was all right. He watched his friend face. Feliciano loved Ludwig's expression when he was sleeping but he rarely got to see it. Humming he pressed his face against Ludwig's chest. "Hmm…" "Ludwig? Are you awake?" Ludwig blinked and stroke Feliciano's hair. "I love you, Feli." "I love you, too. I don't want you to leave!" Ludwig pulled the boy closer. "I won't." Suddenly the door burst open. Elizaveta walked in carrying a tablet with fried eggs and juice. "Good morning sweathearts!" She put the tblet on the bedside table and looked at them cheerfully not surprised at all to see the together. Gilbert walked in chewing on a toast. He stood behind Elizaveta and put an arm around her waist. "Why does West get breakfast in bed and I not?" "Shut up! I made you sandwiches, that's enough!" Gilbert looked down at his brother who was still holding Feliciano. "West, you… Oh my God! You two did it, didn't you?! Oh my god, you got laid! We have to celebrate it!" He ran out of the room. "Roderich, Roderich! Get the caked we have an importand event to celebrate!" Ludwig jumped up and dashed after him. "GILBERT! ICH BRINGE DICH UM!" "Nooo! Boys stop it! Gilbert leave him alone! The first morning after is the most important one!" Felicianoa watched them running out of the room. He giggled and lie down on Ludwig's pillow. His live would become much more chaotic then it already was.


End file.
